I was walking around a mall the other day; people watching and having my morning coffee, when I heard two women say, “Chivalry is dead”. That really got me thinking, ‘Is chivalry really dead?’ I looked around some more and saw a man holding his wife's’ hand and carrying her shopping bags. I saw another guy on his phone while his girlfriend was talking to him (even if it was his friend or sister, still pretty rude). So I came to the conclusion that those women were half right. However, I don’t necessarily think it’s fair to put all the blame on men completely. Society has helped a lot with the change in social encounters. There are so many different things and attitude changes that have caused this loss of “chivalry” as we call it. We can’t change social media or what everyone thinks in just a day. But we can change some simple behaviors; we, as men and women do on a daily basis. Here are a few tips to get you started:
This is the first on the list because it is the most obvious. Is it really that revolutionary to not show up late? I’m pretty sure every blog about “how not to be a douche” lists this. Do not show up late to a date, do not show up late to work, and do not show up late to game night. Emergencies happen, but have the decency to CALL, not text, and let whomever know that you will be tardy. If you are not 5 minutes early then you are late, remember this!
Men have been doing this to convey chivalry for decades! The only excuse to not do this is you are in such a rush that you must have left your manners on the counter with your wallet. This simple act shows that you are the kind of man who takes even a few seconds out of his schedule to make somebody elses day, even a little stress-free.
Grooming yourself and being hygienic are unconditionally important. Do you really want to be that guy who people have to sit 10 seats away from in the theatre because your body odor is such that even the actors on screen are cringing? I didn’t think so. Even just the basics (shaving, flossing, showering, etc.) goes a long way. Put on some nice cologne (not to much), style your hair, make yourself look good, and dress to impress. Hey look, number 4!
When you think of a man, people have different interpretations. Some see a guy in a suit, others with a beard and a farmer’s tan. Honestly, a real man will find a happy medium. There is a time to wear a suit, there are times to get your clothes dirty, and there are times to just look good. Don’t wear boots and jeans on a first date, or a suit to a painting party. Dress to impress, not just others, but yourself as well. The Cliche is true, If you look good, then you feel good! Also remember, you attract that which you portray. If you’re wearing a deer hat and work boots do not spend time wondering why a farmer’s daughter just hit on you, you did it to yourself.
This is easily the most important one on this list. A man’s word is his identity. If people can not trust that you will be there for them when you say you will, that’s just a plain no-no. Do not make empty promises because that will lead to an empty life. Are people looking at you and saying, “I trust that man. If that man tells me something is going to get done, I have no doubts it will be done above and beyond my expectations”. If not, you should be pushing yourself to reach this point, because it is a great feeling to be trusted by others.
A gentleman always keeps his cool. There is no reason I can think of to swear at work, at home, or on a date, none whatsoever. Even if somebody is losing their mind in front of you, keep your calm. If a woman is freaking out at you, do not follow suit! That is why you are a gentleman. It says a lot about a man who can hold his composure, even when everything is falling apart around him. It shows discipline and it shows strength.
Now you may be looking at this list and thinking, “who doesn’t know these” or “these are basic principles, I want to know more”. If you are saying this, congratulations, you are above a lot of men out there and are ready to take the next step. We will be posting more specific qualifications for you to follow to be able to call yourself a gentleman. If you are looking at this list and wondering how these simple things can possibly have any effect on people around you, try them. Try all of these for a week and see the difference, not only in the way people perceive you, but also how good you feel about yourself. Always remember this last thing: Calling yourself a gentleman is a right, not a privilege. You must work to be called a gentleman. The fact that you have something in between your legs that women do not, means nothing. Never stop trying to improve on yourself.
Until next time,